#AskB: How Do I Friendzone Somebody?

I went on more than a few dates with this new guy and he wants to get serious, but I’m not feeling it. How do I friend zone him without making it weird and too awkward?

#AskB Response: I will always suggest the direct approach, but I know everyone isn’t capable of doing such. And I’m well aware that everyone isn’t capable of handling such. The good thing is you’re deciding to nip this in the bud before feelings really get involved and he falls in love. However, I highly suggest you make sure this is something you want to do.  Have you or he exhausted every possible option of being your boyfriend? Before you place him in that category make sure you’re really sure, because there isn’t anything worse than friend zoning him and later wanting him to be your man. We have all laughed at people who “bros,” “sis,” “fam” or “bestie” one other, knowing good well they’re sleeping together or have in the past. Spare yourself the embarrassment.

Once your mind is made up it’s quite simple.  From here on only hangout with him among group settings, this way there’s no one-on-one alone time for him to think otherwise. No more hanging out unless it’s with other people, and NOT COUPLES!  The fool might mistake couples in the group outing for double dating.  Also always refer to him as ‘buddy,’ ‘friend,’ and other playful names in public, social media, and via text message.  No ‘boo,’ ‘bae,’ or anything remotely close to those. Try to lead with an “awwwwwww” in front of whatever you call him to cushion the blow a bit.  It adds a self-affirming feel to the intended situation or person.  That should leave little to no room for blurred lines.  He should realize you’re not interested in anything more than a friendship.  The key is for you to not allow any room for his mind to wonder off thinking you want more than a friendship.  The good thing is you don’t want any awkwardness, which suggest that you do want a friendship.  Good, so you’re giving him the option of being your friend, just not your lover.  So in retrospect, he’ll be apart or in your life one way or another.  Now it is left up to him to decide if he’ll take one over the other, and there is a possibility that he may not even want to be your friend and you’ll have to be cool with that.

Because some won’t even pick up on those clues and force you to go the distance. To help make your message crystal clear; ask him advice about another man. That or profess your crush for someone else. It may be misleading and a big fat lie, but this way might be easier than ending up with a potential stalker on your hands.  Many don’t do rejection well, and the fact that you said he wants more and you don’t. I’m going to guess he has some type of feelings already. Proceed with caution.

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