#AskB: My Man Hasn’t Had a Job in Over a Year
For the past year my boyfriend has been jobless. I’ve been holding us down financially, but I’m completely over it.
AskB Response: In Thessalonians 3:10 the bible says “A man who don’t work, don’t eat.” The elders use to say “no romance without finance.” And Wu-tang said “C.ash R.ules. Everthing. A.round M.e CREAM get the money dolla dolla bill ya’ll.”
I can assume that one who decides not to work for a full calendar year either has a hefty unemployment check coming in, or down right out lazy. How does one survive an entire year without working? Oh yeah, you’re taking care of him, that’s how. How did this even get this far? Oh yeah, you probably like saying the cliché phrases, “I’m holding it down for my man,” “I’m his ride or die chick,” “I got my man’s back.” And while that sounds cute and admirable, it’s also less than smart. I applaud you for holding it down, and you should do such for your husband that is. A boyfriend though?! I believe you should only go those lengths for a boyfriend whom you’ve been in a longtime relationship with. Support is always needed from the significant other, but a relationship that is new, or hasn’t had much time to grow, NO! It will automatically put a strain on the relationship. If he lives with you and you support his unemployment or entrepreneurial endeavors, by all means stand by him. However, I suggest a timeline of 3-6 months (hell 6 mos. might be too long) is given for him to figure it out and get to work. (Honestly, he’s already has more than ample time. A WHOLE YEAR? B***** REALLY?) If the deadline is not met then send him packing back to his mama house.
Is he contributing to the household? Is there a plan for employment within this year? Is he working on a career change? Why hasn’t he worked? Criminal past/record? These are all questions you need to ask him and yourself. Furthermore, ask yourself why have you allowed this to go on for a YEAR, and is this the kind of man you want to refer to as your man? I believe that somewhere along the way he may have also convinced you that “what’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine” bull and you fell for it. The issue with that is he doesn’t have anything to contribute to the overall ours. I can’t seem to fathom that this man hasn’t had any string of income in the duration of a year. Worse, you actually tolerated it, and most likely made excuses. Baaaaaby, today it has to end. You’re being taken advantage of in a major way.
I know it’s hard to find decent employment with good pay when you’re over qualified or under qualified, but at what point does one swallow their pride and take a job below ones pay grade? A little bit of money is better than no money. There really isn’t any acceptable excuse for any able body to be jobless for a year.
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